"Your boss is the person who pulls you up, giving you opportunities to excel or fail, but a mentor is also below, pushing you, to be the best you can be." – Women in Technology Conference 2014

I recently attended a breakfast sponsored by Women in Technology.  Normally a 7:30am breakfast 30 minutes from my house would not be my cup of tea, but the topic really intrigued me: Mentors: Why We Need Them & Why We Need to be One, and the above quote from one of the speakers really struck me.

Mentorship can be a tricky thing. When you start a job, often the person who trains you, or the person who trains you the most, becomes your mentor. Other times you’re assigned a mentor.  Most frequently, mentorship for professional women just starting their careers isn’t discussed at all and we're left to fend for ourselves, never mind trying to find our dream job.

4.3.TW

I've both had and served as a mentor, and those relationships developed in a few different ways. The first person I considered my mentor was my boss, (and I'd highly recommend this dynamic for anyone starting a new career or changing professional directions). Your boss has likely been there, done that, and can give you all the guidance you need for your industry or specific company.  But down the line, you’ll want to find someone in addition to your boss to help you navigate what can become a trickier path. I have a fantastic relationship with my boss, but sometimes we drive each other nuts, and understandably his interest lies in getting the most leverage out of me as an employee.  Having someone aside from him to go to with questions, concerns or just plain old complaints can be really healthy for our relationship!

My mentor the last few years has been a colleague in another office who holds a similar role to mine. She's been at the company longer than I have, and given all of the collaborating we’ve done, we ended up becoming very close friends.  Recently she made the decision to leave the company, and after panicking a bit about my expanding workload, I realized I was far more concerned about what I was going to do without her sound, wise advice to get me through the day.

Through a teary "this is one of our last phone calls" phone call, I told her how much she meant to me and how she had shaped my career and helped me with some of the hardest decisions I've ever made.  I joked that every time I had to make a tough decision I asked myself, "WWAD," or "What Would Ashley Do?" And then she shocked me when she said that in fact I had done the same things for her.  That I inspired her, that she looked up to me, and trusted me beyond simple workplace friendship.

The point in sharing all of that is to say you could be acting as a mentor to someone and not even realize it. Our actions, personally and professionally, shape the future of our careers and mindfully choosing both who our mentors are and to whom we are mentors can really help drive our paths forward toward discovering our dream job.

With my coworker leaving, I'm feeling the void of mentorship a little bit, and I've already started putting feelers out there for a new "mentor." I use quotes, because I probably won't go so far as to formally ask someone to step into that role for me.  It's not my style.  But for some careers, companies, or individuals, that's the way it works. If you work for a company where that's the case, speak up and ask someone to be your mentor! The worst thing that could happen is that they say no.

 

One of the ladies on the Women in Technology panel shared a story about a time when someone declined to be her mentor. It was a humbling experience for her, but she quickly realized how grateful she was that the person had enough self-awareness to recognize that they didn’t have the capacity to help her at that point in time, and that was perfectly okay! They helped point her to someone else within the organization that was more than happy to mentor her, and they still have a great relationship many years later.

As with many things in the work place, we have to ask for what we want. If you’re looking for career guidance, support, and advice - ask for it. Ask someone in the organization, regardless of seniority, to serve as a mentor. Come with a plan – will you meet quarterly? Monthly? For each meeting, have a topic in mind. Are you struggling with your career path, or trying to figure out how to take on more responsibility? These are both great things to address with a mentor.  Just make sure that in sharing information, you aren't putting the mentor (or yourself!) in an uncomfortable situation with someone they manage or work closely with.

This post got a little more personal and wordy than some of my others, but mentorship is something that is very close to my heart. Women need an outlet to be successful, someone they can rely on and trust for advice and support without judgment, and that's exactly what a mentor should be.

I'd love to start a conversation about your mentor and how they helped you find your dream job.  Share what you appreciate or what else you wish they would do! Let's chat: @katiehamilton #bSMARTmentorship

 

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