You’ve heard it before - you can’t love someone until you love yourself.  But let’s be honest, figuring out how to find love is a lot easier than learning how to love yourself.

For many of us, being single means putting energy into hoping to find love in the next guy or girl to come along instead of taking the time to learn and grow.  It’s why we date just to date.  But it’s also how we end up confused and hurt.

That’s where dating yourself comes in.  Being single means you have the chance to learn about you.  When you date yourself, you build confidence and feel fulfilled.  You get in the habit of doing things for you, which gives you a better idea of how to be happy in a relationship down the road.

8.8 TW

Here are my three tips for how to date (and fall in love) with you:

1) Do Things for You

Read that book you’ve 'never had time' to read.  Tackle your bucket list.  Take that cooking class.  Do what makes you happy.  At the end of the day, if you’re not happy, you will rely on someone else to make you happy - and that never ends well.

Take advantage of your single time to figure out what you like.  'Me time' simultaneously fulfills you and teaches you about what you like.

When you continuously do things that make you happy, these interests can provide inner satisfaction in your future relationships.  You'll rely on you for happiness and your future significant other  will enhance and round out those feelings of fulfillment.

2) Take Yourself Out

You don’t have to go out to fancy dinners and twilight strolls sans a significant other – but if that makes you happy, then do it!  Don’t be afraid to go out on your own.

Taking yourself out is a literal approach to dating yourself, but it adds to the experience, so treat yourself.  Just because you’re not currently dating someone doesn’t mean you can’t enjoy life.

3) Revaluate Your Dates

Refrain from your next round of weekly OkCupid dates and focus on you.  Do you like the person you're presenting yourself to be on these dates?  Identify anything that feels inauthentic—especially areas of your confidence.  This will help you realize what you should address in your alone time.

Then ask yourself what you liked in the people you were dating.  Pick out any common traits that initially attracted you to them.  This will help you realize what's important to you in a significant other, like being career-driven or having a quirky sense of humor.

Remember, dating is about learning and enjoying.  Date yourself to learn how to love who you are in the process. 


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