Emily

Now that I’m engaged, I’ve learned that relationships are like daisies. They require lots of tender-loving-care in order for them to sprout, grow and eventually bloom. The better care you show a daisy, the stronger and more beautiful it will become. Whether you’ve been in a relationship for a month, a year, or fifty years, here are some beneficial bits of love advice I’ve learned to help your relationship grow, too!

3.14.TW

Tip # 1 - Evaluate Your Relationship

When you first plant a daisy you must observe it to make sure it's getting everything it needs to survive. You might discover that it needs more water or sunlight, but you only learned that because you were watching carefully to see if it needed something. Sometimes it's scary to honestly evaluate our relationships, but the benefit of this process is that you will see what you need to add, fix, or take away. Lots of women assume that relationship issues will go away eventually, or perhaps when they get married. Speaking as a woman who is engaged and is preparing for marriage, I have been told (as well as read in many marriage prep books) that if something is missing in your relationship now, it will be missing in the relationship until you decide to change it.

For example, when my fiancé and I were dating we always talked about the importance of having a date night every week when we were married, because studies show that simply taking one morning, afternoon, or evening to spend with your spouse greatly increases the overall wellness of the relationship. Isaac and I are both very busy people and while dating realized we didn't even have a regular date night every week. We had to acknowledge that and rework our schedule so date night would become a habit. Decide what you value in your relationship and if it's missing, don't wait for tomorrow - work on adding it into your lives today.

Tip #2 - Cooperate and Collaborate

I don't know about you, but I am a pretty independent individual and on top of that I am an artist, which makes me a very opinionated person when it comes to style. When my fiancé, Isaac, and I went to go make our wedding registry, we went into it with such excitement and anticipation. We were thrilled to finally to be planning our future together! However, we soon realized that two artists’ tastes colliding may not be as fun as we thought and we both became frustrated. After we took a step back and evaluated, we realized that we didn't want to make this memory without having fun, so we decided to say yes to whatever the other picked out and add something to it, instead of stubbornly saying no right off the bat. This little game turned out to be a blast! For an idea of what this looked like, Isaac picked up a waste-basket that I didn't love at all and said, “How about this?” I answered, “Great! Let's get these wooden shower curtain hooks to match!” One thing led to another and BAM! As a team we had designed our bathroom together and I have to admit, it turned out to be better than what I could have designed on my own.

When caring for a daisy people may have differing opinions on how to best take care of it, but resist the urge to always have things done your way. Be willing to collaborate - after all, two heads are better than one!

 

Tip #3 - Learn to Fight Well

There are natural seasons in both the life of a daisy as well as relationships. In order to take care of the daisy in the wilting season, you must trim off the blooms as they fade. This process is called deadheading, which sounds morbid, but it encourages more flowering. This process is inevitable for re-blooming to occur. It is crucial, however, to cut with care or the bloom will not regrow. Similar to daises, relationships need pruning too. Think of pruning like an argument, or conflict, that in the moment doesn't feel good, but when you finally work through it, it can make you stronger as a couple. However, if we don't operate with love in these moments and show respect in an argument it can damage the relationship, much like deadheading a flower too haphazardly.

To use an example from my own life, there was a moment not too long ago when Isaac and I were going to sit down and have a talk with his parents about the wedding list because it was outrageously long! He knew it was going to be a point of contention between his parents and us. He came to me beforehand and thoughtfully asked me to be understanding of his mother wanting all of the people on the list to stay on the list. Well, I became very defensive and started raising my voice, insisting that he wasn't supporting me and was thinking only of his mother! In hindsight, I see that he was merely trying his best to diffuse a potential fight. While I was throwing my little fit, he calmly opened his arms, took me in them and said, “Sweetheart, I don't appreciate you yelling at me. You know I'm on your side. If I hurt your feelings I'm sorry, but I believe you can communicate that to me without throwing these arrows with your words.” I was completely dumbfounded at the kindness and love he showed me in a moment when I was so undeserving of it. The point is that he made a choice to fight well. He reprimanded me, but did it in a way that made us closer, not in a way that created more division.

All relationships, like daisies, need the proper amount of water, sunlight, shade and deadheading to grow, and I believe that incorporating these 3 beneficial bits of love advice will help to grow, strengthen, and cause your relationship to bloom like never before!

 

Comments (0)

There are no comments posted here yet

Leave your comments

Posting comment as a guest. Sign up or login to your account.
Attachments (0 / 3)
Share Your Location