Kaycia Sailsman

Loneliness is a topic that some people might be hesitant to talk about because who wants to be lonely?  It's not a good feeling, and for some it can be quite uncomfortable to express out loud to someone.  This kind of loneliness comes from being away from friends and being so enveloped in your work so much that the concept of having a social life is nonexistent.


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My routine has been work, home, and freelancing on the side on a continuous loop since graduating college.  I haven't really had the time or extra finances to catch up with friends and it has really begun to take a toll on me.

So far, I've been reminiscing on my past college experiences and I've realized that I miss my friends.  It's not enough to text each other; I'm longing for a face-to-face chit chat over drinks, good food, and a bit of shopping on the side.  Since moving back home, it is starting to become less about me and more about making sure that my family is okay.  I'm someone who loves to be helpful in any way possible to those close to me, and because of that, sometimes I can lose a bit of myself.  Also, adding work into the mix, I've become a huge hermit (more so than I already was.)

Being in the social media age, I see friends from my graduating class going on vacations with their friends and I'm sitting at home wondering when it will be my turn. I know timing is everything but social media allows you to think that you do not have it all together.  But I’m here to tell you that there are ways to overcome  loneliness or feeling left out:

1) Reach out to your friends.

If you feel that you need to see your friends, don’t be afraid reach out and ask.  Don't wait for them to text you, be the link that sets up the social event, then be the one to make it happen.

2) Join Meetup.com.

This is an app designed to help you meet new people based on your location and interests.  I have used this app to meet local friends in my area based on common interests that I listed in the application.  I currently keep in touch with two other members and we occasionally meet up and have coffee and chit chat.  This app allows me to meet other people and not be too bothersome to my other friends.


Social media allows you to think that you do not have it all together


3) Allow each other to separate.

Sometimes with our greatest friends, there will be times when you aren't going to see each other as much; living abroad, getting married, and having a baby are all good examples of times when lives and friendships change.  As a friend you need to allow your friends to live their lives.

4) Be comfortable in your loneliness.

You’ll be surprised by how many things you get done when you have no one to meet up with.  About a year ago, I decided to use this time of loneliness to get things done like creating a blog.  Focus on your goals such as trying yoga, read a book you've been putting off, and many other activities you wish you had the time to do.  Being lonely can be frustrating, but if you use it to accomplish your personal goals it can also be very rewarding.  I’m starting to appreciate my loneliness in an effort to figure some things out for myself, and I've made so many strides that I am very proud of.

Being lonely is something that I’ve had to deal with for a while and I’m getting used it to little by little.  I do miss my friends and I now know that we will all have our get together one day.  We're all working to make the best lives for ourselves, so that makes waiting not so bad.  In the meantime, I am steadily working on my crafts and pursuing my goals as much as possible.


Comments (3)

  1. Bridgette Ramirez

As a soon-to-be college grad, this is reassuring to me. And I need to check out that app!

  1. Kaycia Sailsman    Bridgette Ramirez

Thanks! I am glad you enjoyed reading!

  1. Meagan Hooper

I love this post!


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